Statement:
Journal of A Melancholic
As a child my delight was to sit on the roof top
As an adult my neighbors thought me weird, sitting on my roof
so I took a camera with me
And they thought me a pervert on my roof with a camera
so I went to the park with my camera
And they thought me to be a stalker
so I only went out to photograph in the rain
And they assumed me to be challenged
so I only went out when people paid me to use my camera
And they thought me too expensive and quit calling
so now I go out disguised as an old man
with a little plastic camera wrapped in duct tape
And I no longer care what they think - I am alone again
with my thoughts, and the memory of that 10 year old
My Little Plastic Camera:
Images on this site were made primarily with the Holga 120-N camera. The Holga is a film camera with plastic lens. It does not have a light meter and has a fixed shutter speed with “bulb” setting (to hold the shutter open). It was first introduced in China in the 1980’s as an inexpensive mass-market camera. My reason for using the Holga goes beyond the novelty of the camera. The Holga allows me to create images that express the mood I am trying to capture, it’s limitations become advantages.
On Finding Inspiration
Even though I don’t consider myself of a melancholic temperament, melancholy is what compels my response. I like to think of it as a tranquil loneliness or spiritual longing. At times it may even be a profound sadness but it is never a debilitating melancholy of depression or despair. I search for melancholy in poetry and music, in silence and solitude, in rainy days and the long shadows of evening. The quality of melancholy is what I would like to bring to my work regardless of the subject matter.